A lot of controversy has been stirring in recent years about what
some call a “trend”. It is quite sad that the most natural thing in the
world is now deemed “crazy” “stupid” “risky” or my personal favorite
“unnecessary”. What is this “trend” i speak of? Put quite simply, it is
natural childbirth.
Now, i’m not just talking about vaginal birth. I’m talking about
NATURAL birth. Many people have opposing views on what the definition of
“natural birth” is. Personally, i think natural birth is a birth of
whatever feels natural to YOU. Take me for example: My first labor
lasted 5 hours. It consisted of me being kept laying flat on my back
with 2 I.V’s, a urinary catheter, and 3 fetal monitors strapped to my
belly; the doctor breaking my water without my knowledge, or consent,
frequent, painful vaginal exams where the doctor decided i “needed” a
c-section for reasons that are still unknown to me 2 years later, the
anesthesiologist yelling at me for moving while he administered the
spinal during a contraction, and me not being able to see my son until
the next day despite him being born at 5:39 AM.
My second labor… Didn’t happen. I found a new care provider, who said
he was VBAC supportive. Until i was 39 weeks. I went in at my 39 week
appointment for a routine ultrasound to determine Zachary’s position. I
had been leaking fluids very slowly all morning, yet forgot to mention
it as i wasn’t sure if it was my water or not. The ultrasound tech
became worried about my “low fluid levels”, and immediately sent the
report to my doctor. He decided right then and there to go ahead and cut
me. I told him i had been leaking fluid all morning, but he ignored
me. He kept me there until my son was born. I got to my appointment at
10:30 AM, and he was born somewhere after 7 PM. I was supposed to be
taken in immediately. However, they decided to put me on I.V’s, a
catheter, and refuse to let me eat or drink anything. They kept delaying
my surgery because, apparently, every time my turn came up, another
woman “had” to go in before me. Really? Their c-section rate scares me.
So, it took every ounce of strength in me to stay awake during the
surgery, and i fell asleep within minutes after i was sewn up. I woke up
several hours later to hold my son, and luckily was able to.
..These were not natural births..
For me, a natural birth would be few, to no vaginal exams, NO
augmentation, vaginal, delayed cord clamping, food and water
availability, being able to move around, and birth in positions that
AREN’T on my back, etc. That is what I would like. And that is why i
want a VBA2C. I can NOT go through the trauma i went through with my
sons. Because of my first c-section, i failed to breastfeed because of
the amount of pain i was in, and the fact that they gave him formula
without my consent, so he wouldn’t latch. I couldn’t see him until the
day after he was born, and wasn’t allowed to hold him until the day
after that. He was born at 37 weeks, spent 5 days in the NICU, was on
I.V. fluids, heart monitors, and a ventilator because he had jaundice,
underdeveloped lungs, and an immature nervous system despite being 7 lbs
10 1/2 oz, and 20 1/2 inches long.
However, many women i have spoken to describe natural birth as simply a vaginal birth.
Women in our society today have lost touch with what our bodies were
meant to do. We no-longer trust our motherly instincts, our nature as
women, and the power we have to create life.
Many, many times, i have described how horrible my experiences with
c-sections were, and people told me “at least your kid is alive” or told
me to “just get over it.” Sorry, but no. I can’t just “get over” having
a medical team lie to me, violate my body, violate my rights, and take
advantage of me because i wasn’t fully informed of my options. Aside
from that, having my body ruined and scarred for life, feeling like a
failure because my body “wasn’t good enough” to birth my own children,
feeling like a failure because my body “wasn’t good enough” to feed my
own children, and causing horrible PPD. Nope, sorry. I don’t think
that’s something i can just brush off. Thanx.
I have really been struggling with my options lately. At my last
appointment, the nurse told me “well, if you come here to give birth,
you WILL have a c-section.” Even though i know this to be complete
bogus, these nurses have been through all of my pregnancies so far, and
my anxiety makes it nearly impossible for me to speak up for myself.
I took it upon myself today to print out the ACOG 2010 VBAC
recommendations to show to my doctor at my appointment on the 27th (i’m
14 weeks +2 and still haven’t met my doctor). The hospital follows the
VBAC guidelines from 1996, and i’m not sure they’re even aware that the
college reviewed it’s statements. I have also printed out the ICAN
Q&A about what to do when your hospital has “banned” VBAC’s, and a
birth plan in which i indicated that i do not consent to cesarean
sections unless a fatal medical emergency arises. I will provide links
for all 3 at the bottom of this post.
Anyhoo, because of my lack of support from family, and medical
professionals, i have been considering a home birth with a midwife, and a
Doula, but i am on medicaid, and can’t afford them. So, i was strongly
considering an unassisted birth; but now i just don’t know. It’s not so
much that i’m doubting myself, it’s more that i want that safety net,
and to know that if something goes wrong, that i wont have to risk being
caught in a traffic jam or something on the way to the hospital. Of
course either way; hospital, or home; i intend to labor at home. I have
been thinking about staying home for as long as possible, and getting
quite well into my labor before going to the hospital. Yet, at the same
time, i’m afraid of the doctors and nurses making the rest of my labor
so difficult, and bombarding me with their “recommendations” and
“opinions”. I want a nice, peaceful birth. I feel that if they make it
stressful for me, that it will stress out the baby, and cause problems,
or maybe even a rupture.
Choices like this are very serious, and should only be made with the
utmost research on the risks, and benefits of EVERY choice before
deciding. I know that i absolutely will NOT budge on what i want for my
labor and delivery, but still; in the throws of labor, having everyone
try to force interventions on you, telling you everything that “will” go
wrong, pulling the dead baby card, yelling at you, etc; that is NOT the
kind of environment that is conducive to childbirth, and NOT something
the mother needs. *sigh* at least i still have 25 weeks and 5 days to
make my final decision, and get to know my doctor.
Luckily, Dr. Neulander is new to the practice. All the doctors are.
The hospital decided to get rid of their entire obstetrics team, so NONE
of the doctors that were involved in my first two c-sections are there
anymore *cue chorus of angels*. Who knows, perhaps he is more supportive
of VBAC than these nurses know. I’m not going to know for sure for
another week and 2 days. Part of me is excited (mostly because my doctor
actually speaks english this time), and the other part is scared of the
unknown. Not knowing what this doctor will be like, or what his
opinions are on VBAC’s, or natural births altogether.
So, i guess that’s all for now. Nothing much else to write for now.
Just needed to vent. I hope everyone has a great day, and a pleasant
evening. Bye xoxo
Links:
ACOG 2010 VBAC guidelines:
http://www.acog.org/About_ACOG/News_Room/News_Releases/2010/Ob_Gyns_Issue_Less_Restrictive_VBAC_Guidelines
Exercising your right to refuse. ICAN Q&A:
http://www.ican-online.org/vbac/your-right-refuse-what-do-if-your-hospital-has-banned-vbac-q
Blank birth plan:
http://images.thebump.com/tools/pdfs/birth_plan.pdf
What is a “natural birth” to you?
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