Gender reveal!! It's a....

Say hello to our beautiful new edition. It's a girl!!!! I love you Emberlynn Chelsie Marie Mcbee<3

Bulk post: Eragon update/My birthday/New hair/Impending ultrasound

Eragon Update:

So, Eragon had his surgery 5 days ago. The past few days have been hectic of taking care of Eragon, and everything else that we do on a regular basis. Happily, he took the surgery like a champ, and by the end of the day he was up, and playing.

He spent a good portion of the first two days laying on the couch, watching Thomas & Friends, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Super Why, and Dumbo :)

For the most part, we are happy with the results. Most of the nurses were very nice, and attentive to our needs. The doctor however, was a complete ass. First of all, we were told weeks ago that we would be able to be in the room with Eragon while he went under the anesthesia. But when we got there, they just took him away and we had to watch him scream and begging for me and Skie, only to have strangers hold him down, and force a mask over his face :'(  As we were heading towards the waiting room, we heard him screaming in the OR. Skie turned around, and started heading in, only to be stopped and pushed out by nurses. Before they brought him in, we were asking the surgeon general questions (risks of the anesthesia, things we need to look out for, etc.) And instead of giving us actual answers, he just shook his head yes or no (unless we asked him a question that REQUIRED a verbal answer). Also, the whole time, he had this look of superiority on his face the whole time that i found very insulting.
When the surgery was done, they called us from the recovery room, and told us to come in because he was awake. And of course, as a mother, i got up and headed towards the room as fast as i could, especially since i could hear him screaming through the phone. That's when Dr. Dickhead decided to stop us, and ask "Where are you going?" So we said "To see Eragon. They just called us, and told us to come to the recovery room." So he says "Well, i need to talk to you about the surgery first. You do.. WANT me to talk to you, don't you?" I swear, i just about smacked those coke-bottle glasses right off his tiny little head!
So after he kept us in the quiet room to tell us a bunch of crap we already knew (and pretty much spare him any liability from not informing us of anything), we FINALLY got to go to the recovery room and be with him. He was in so much pain, and was crying and screaming "mama! mama! mama!!!" It just broke my heart, and i broke down crying. I, thankfully, got to hold him while he slept off the rest of the anesthesia. At one point, i handed him to Skie so he could cuddle and comfort him for awhile. I took Zachary, and Eragon woke up. Despite being in pain, he felt well enough to say "Bee baba, down!!" And i couldn't help but laugh. My sweet baby boy<3 The prescribed him Tylenol with Codeine for pain management, and BOY did that work!! Put him out for awhile!! Sure, we enjoyed the quiet; but i would have much rather have had my baby boy happy, and surgery-free then passed out in a narcotic coma.

He has done so good since the surgery, and it's healing nicely. He only has a bit of bruising, and his scar is pink. Tomorrow, we get to take the bandage off his pelvis, and see how everythings going under there.

As far as all that goes, i think that's about all i've got since the surgeries all over with, and he came out of it like a boss. So, onto the next topic i guess.

Happy 20th Birthday to me:

Not much to talk about in this topic. I was born 20 years ago on October 26th 1992 at 9:11 PM. Yes... 911. Go ahead, get it out of your system. I'll wait..

Okay, now that that's over with: Let's see, i got Pizza, and a cheesecake for my birthday for food. As for presents, i got a new pair of shoes, and some hair dye (refer to the picture below).

Yeah, i was right. That's pretty much it lol.

New Hair:

So, for this picture, i have shown my new hair color, and my intactivist shirt (you can see the google image in a previous blog post, below). I am absolutely LOVING this color!!!

Again, not much to write lol...

Impending ultrasound:

Not much to write here either lol.

Just an update really.

I've been starting to feel little movements lately, and when i search for the fundal height, it is just about adjacent to my belly button (as you can see). Although, most of what you see is just my fat, the baby pushes it out even further. I can't wait! We get to see what we're having in 4 days!!! 3, if you don't count the two hours left in this day lol ;)

My SPD seems to be getting worse lately. Just about 20 minutes ago, i had some sort of an attack (that i've been having frequently lately). It's on the right side of my pelvis, and it felt like a ripping/burning pain, that ached from that spot into my back, and down my right leg. GOD that sh*t hurt!! Not sure what it was, but it's definitely something i'm bringing up at my appointment on Wednesday.

Oh! And speaking of my appointment! I thought i was going to get to FINALLY meet my OB, after going 19 (20 as of midnight tonight) weeks without meeting him, but then i realized my appointment if on Wednesday, and he's only in the clinic on Tuesdays and Thursdays. So yeah, needless to say i'm a tid bit pissed.

So, i guess that's all i've got for now. Update ASAP. Probably on Wednesday. Peace :) 

Ultrasound Excitement / Surgery Nervousness

Ultrasound Excitement:

So, as the day for the gender reveal looms closer every second, i find myself more and more excited. Yet nervous at the same time.

With Eragon, i already knew he was a boy. I just felt it. Skie was convinced he was a girl, but i knew. With Zachary, i didn't have a clue. Skie knew he was a boy too, but i just had no idea. This time is a bit different though. This time, all the signs point to girl. I kind of feel like it may be a girl, and i HOPE we're having a girl; but then something inside me just feels like it's going to be another boy.
Skie is convinced he only makes boys now, so doesn't think we'll be suprised with a girl at all. We don't really know for sure, and wont for another week and 4 days.

Surgery Nervousness:

Eragons surgery is just two days away.

I had to take him to the phlebotomist yesterday for his pre-surgery blood work that the Drs. office conveniently neglected to tell us about until the last minute. He didn't take the needle very well due to his SPD, and i'm concerned about how the after-surgery pain is going to effect him.
I mean, we'll do our best to keep him properly medicated, but i don't want to give him too much, for fear of an accidental overdose. Then another thing i'm concerned about is taking him home. He is still in a 5-point rear facing harness, and i just hope the leg part in the middle doesn't rub against the area, and hurt him on the way home.

As any mother would be, i am concerned about the risks, and the possibility of something going wrong. So far i haven't seen anything bad about the surgery, but perhaps i need to do some more research. Then again, if i look up the horror stories, i may just scare myself too much out of letting him go through the surgery he needs.
After all, if he doesn't have the surgery it can cause pain in the future when he grows more, and his chances of having children when he's ready are greatly reduced.
I don't know how to get through it, i'm just so scared! I mean, he is my first born child! He's only two years old, and has to go through corrective surgery on his reproductive system!!

I don't know.. Not sure what i was hoping to get out of this blog post. Maybe i thought that writing things out might bring me to some sort of calming realization that would suddenly make it all better. Things just feel so out of my control. Neither me, or Skie are going to be allowed in the room when he has the surgery due to the "risk of medical tampering". What?!? So.. We can't hold our childs hand while he goes under the knife, because we might somehow screw up the surgery?
Oh, but not to worry! They're letting us stay with him until the anesthesia kicks in! Then we have to watch our first born child be wheeled away to surgery with neither one of us there for him. I just don't know what i'll do if something happens..

Okay, so i guess that's all for now. Write more when i have the time. Peace.

Boys will be boys *sigh*

Ooohhh... The joy of having boys.. Especially toddler boys! Eragon is 2 years old now (technically 25 months in 5 days), and Zachary is 11 months (his first birthday is in 3 weeks and 6 days). Any mother with boys knows exactly what i mean when i quote two words from my oldest.. "Mama! Now!" Toddlers have full on, 14 year old, head-swingin' attitude, and they are not afraid to show it!

Is it just me, or are boys more prone to swallowing, breaking, shredding, eating, hiding, or incinerating precious items than girls are?
Perhaps. Then again, my mother did always say to me and my sister "I hope you have children that gave you just as much trouble as you gave me!" Ah! The dreaded grandma curse!
And that's another thing!
Why are boys so attached to their grandmothers?! I swear, Eragon will listen to two people in this world. Skie (daddy), and my mother! Me? Pffftt!! Nope. Mommy is good for 3 things: playing, feeding, and getting stuff he can't reach. My boys are definitely a handful. I can only immagine what they'll be like as teenagers.. Oh god, PLEASE don't let them be as bad as me!

Another thing boys seem to enjoy, is roughhousing. And a LOT of it. Normally i wouldn't mind that, but at 18 weeks 5 days pregnant, it makes it a little difficult for me to play rough. Especially when Eragon pile-drives me right in the gut, and i spend the rest of the night on the couch, curled up in pain with Braxton Hicks contractions. Eesh. This is then made all the more difficult on Skie because he is still getting used to the effects of his new medication.
Eragon has a new favorite game at least. Football. More specifically, throwing his nerf football at mommy as hard as he can. Last time, he wailed me in the throat lol! Yeah, that didn't feel good.




      On a more somber note, Poor Eragon needs to have bloodwork done today, and with his SPD, that needle prick is going be awful :( What's worse, is that he has to have his surgery on Monday, i can only imagine how much pain he'll be in after that!! For those of you who don't know, Eragon has to have surgery to correct his un-descended testicle. It's a common condition, and is supposed to correct itself by age one. However, in Eragons case, his didn't correct itself, so now he needs surgery. Here's a link of how the surgery is performed:  http://www.chop.edu/service/surgery-general-thoracic-and-fetal/conditions-we-treat/pediatric-surgery-undescended-testicles.html

It's a relatively simple surgery, but still scary to go through as a parent.


Okay, i think that's it for now. So, until next time, bye :)

Got my intactivist shirt!!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





Now that i've got all that out of my system, YAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!! I'm excited if you couldn't tell :) My purple "Intactivist By Nature" shirt came in the mail today, and i am SO excited to wear it out in public and see what kind of reactions i get.

For those of you who may be wondering where i ordered it from, it's from the whole network :)
You can also find them on facebook. Just type The WHOLE Network into the search bar.

As you all know, my boys are circumcised. It was a decision made out of pure ignorance, and misinformation. I bought into the lie about it being "cleaner", "healthier", and "normal" when in fact, it is easier to clean an intact male, removing a normal functioning body part that has 20,000 nerve endings is NEVER healthy, and 85% of the world is intact. So my boys are now a part of the minority in males, all because of my ignorance, and refusal to research.

 http://www.savingsons.org/
 http://www.thewholenetwork.org/
 http://www.intactnetwork.org/

Above are a few intact websites i have come across. Thanks to Intact Network, i found a page with a list of intact websites, which i enclose here:

 http://www.intactnetwork.org/p/intact-websites.html
^credit to intactnetwork.org

I absolutely LOVE the saving our sons, and whole network websites! They have shops to get not only adult shirts, bumper stickers, drop cards, pins, etc; but they ALSO have childrens wear!! Onesies, childrens shirts, and things of the like :)

Anyway, that's about all i have so far. Just wanted to share my excitement with you all, and some intact-friendly links. Have a good day everybody. Peace :)

SPD Management/Pregnancy Discomforts

Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (SPD) is most commonly associated with pregnancy and childbirth. It is a condition that causes excessive movement of the pubic symphysis, either anterior or lateral, as well as associated pain, possibly because of a misalignment of the pelvis. SPD is a dysfunction that is associated with pelvic girdle pain and the names are often used interchangeably. It is thought to affect up to one in four pregnant women to varying degrees, with 7% of sufferers continuing to experience serious symptoms postpartum.^[1][2] Although the condition was recognized by Hippocrates, incidences of SPD appear to have increased in recent years; it is unclear whether this is because the average maternal age is increasing, or because the condition is being diagnosed more frequently.

Now that we have the technical definition down, here's the layman's explanation...

This sh*t HURTS!!!!!!! 

I have had SPD in all of my pregnancies, and, according to my research, it occurs usually in each subsequent pregnancy, with the duration beginning earlier each time, and with more ferocity.

For me, the pain is at it's worst late at night, or when i'm waking up in the morning, and getting out of bed.

Ways to keep it from hurting too much throughout the day include:

• Not sitting or standing for prolonged periods of time
• No strenuous exercise (a no-brainer during pregnancy anyway)
• Doctor approved pain meds
• Keeping your legs elevated when you sit
• Not lifting one leg higher than the other (not easy in my case with several baby gates to step over)
• And buying a pelvic girdle

With my pregnancy with Eragon, i noticed the pain start when i was around 30 weeks or so. With Zachary, it started at about 22. This time however, it started at 13. Ugh... This surprisingly common pregnancy condition is rather unheard of among OB's these days. Impossible? Not quite.
For some women, the pain is rather minor, while for others (such as myself) it can get quite severe.
No amount of pain meds help either.
Very few doctors are qualified to recognize this condition. In fact, most of the time it is diagnosed by a chiropractor.


At night, i have to sleep on my left side, or my stomach, with one of my legs raised up higher than the other just to avoid constant pain during the night. I still wake up stiff in the morning though. Admittedly, my pain isn't nearly as bad as other women's'. In fact, some women experience this pain for months, and even years after birth! For others, they don't get the pain at all until around menopause which is then exacerbated by the symptoms that go along.
Last night, i had some Horrible SPD pain, and had to sit for about 30 minutes. It's been made worse by the Braxton Hicks i've been getting as well. Oh little peanut, mommy goes through this pain because she loves you and your brothers so very much. <3

So, i guess that's all i have to post for now. Update later when i have time to post again. Peace :)

Moby baby-wearing

So, here's the pic :) This is me, and my 10 month old boy Zachary-Ryan wearing our new Moby Wrap that came in the mail this morning :) We both love it!! The best part? Eragon even fits into it!! No complaints so far, except that it's just so damn hard to get it back into the bag it came in :/ But other than that, absolute perfection!!

My moby came in the mail!!!

Yay!!! I'm so excited!! We ordered the leaf colored moby wrap, and it came by UPS today :) It also came with an instructional booklet, two drop cards, and a car magnet to spread the word about moby wraps. I tried it out with Zachary in it, and it was fantastic!! I could carry him forever in it!!

I really wanted to be able to post this info with a pic, but i got too excited to wait, so hopefully i'll have a pic up later. I've got to get off for now though. Gotta get something to eat, do some laundry, and take the kids outside, so i'll hopefully be able to post later today. Peace :)

Stressful night. Coping with my mind.

Grrr.... Time for this crabby mommy to wind down! The boys were quite well-behaved today. I mean, the odd tantrum here or there, and Eragon bit Zachary once; but other than that, it was pretty good. It wasn't until we were trying to put them down to bed that it got stressful.

So, Zachary went down for his only nap of the day at around noon, and slept til 2:30. Then he decided to stay awake, and not go to bed until midnight!!! He was so exhausted for two hours straight, but was just fighting his sleep as hard as he could.
I had him cradled in my arms while giving him the bottle, rocking and bouncing him, and singing the itsy bitsy spider (the boys' favorite song), and continued to do that for about an hour.
Every time he was just about asleep, either Eragon would come up wanting to be held, and i would have to shoo him away, or my moms husband would decide to blast his music, or someone would start talking loud, etc. etc. etc. It just goes on and on..

I've been in an increasingly large amount of pain lately, with seemingly no subsidization in sight.

I need a massage..




Nothing else much to write. Like i said before, my life isn't interesting enough to write every day. I'm thinking my next entry might be about weight and/or body image of some sort. Maybe tonight, maybe later in the week. Kk. So long for now. Peace.

Completion of week 16/My thoughts*Name Announcement*

Hey there. So, i've decided to organize my posting into weekly blogs as my life is far from interesting enough to write daily, or even 2-3 times a week. A summation of the whole week seems to suffice.

Week 16 of this pregnancy has been pretty rough. My SPD (Symphasis Pubis Dysfunction) has kicked into high-gear, and i am now up to about 6 Aleve tablets a day, which is twice the dose recommended not to exceed, but without it, i can't handle the pain! It's really bad when i first wake up in the morning, or if i've been sitting for long periods of time. The kicker? I have to sit a lot these days because of the pressure from my uterus, and how tired i get lately.

At my last OB appointment, i discovered that my doctor has taken a leave of absence, and will be gone from work until further notice. So now, i have no idea when i'm going to meet him, and in the meantime i have to deal with the nurses showing RCS (Repeat C-section) down my throat, and telling me i can't birth vaginally, because my body hasn't "proven" that it can. What garbage.
Then there's the other nurse who said to me "Well if give birth here, you WILL have a c-section. Geez lady, talk about informed consent much?!

As for my mental and emotional state, that is quite lacking these days. I'm going crazy from all the stress, and getting absolutely NO emotional support from anyone. All my family has been doing is minimizing my feelings, and blowing everything off as me being either "immature" or "over-exaggerating my pregnancy hormones". Yeah, well sit and spin buddy..
I am so sick of sitting around, and being told that i'm wrong 100% of the time, that my opinions about everything don't matter, and that everyone else but me has a brain. Well guess what? If you all fucking hate me so much, and would do "just fine without me" then why i don't  i just fucking leave?!? See how "just fine" you do when you're doing it yourself.

I've been really considering training to be a doula. It is very rewarding work, and i would be helping so many women at the most vulnerable times in their lives, and it is a field i would be happy in. Idk if i would want to start the training while i'm still pregnant with this baby, or after the birth.
I have time to decide though. Lots of time.

Oh! And speaking of the baby! We have finally come up with a girls name!! If she is a girl, her name will be Emberlynn Chelsie Marie Mcbee :) Pretty, eh? And, we go in for the gender ultrasound on the 31st, which is just 3 weeks and 4 days :) I already know she's going to be a girl. I can just feel it. While Skie is convince he only makes boys, but we'll see :)
Along with the ultrasound, my birthday is also 5 days before that. Gonna be 20!! Wow, no longer a teenager. That's a hard pill to swallow, i tell ya that!

Not much else to write from this week except some symptoms. My nausea is just about gone, but kicks in pretty good when i'm in the car. I am now leaking a fair bit of colostrum, resulting in sore, swollen, full breasts. Hey, at least i HAVE breasts now! Damn things are barely above a B cup :/ I guess my only other symptoms lately would be my near-constant back pain, and the SPD. Other than that, i also have my mood swings. Not nearly as bad as other people's though *rolls eyes*.

Well that's all for now. I will leave you with a link to this post i found about a woman in Australia who beat the odds, and had a natural labor and birth of tripplets. Here ya go. Enjoy :)

 http://naturalchildbirthworld.com/natural-birth-triplets/